So awkward

Well, the other day, I was invited by girls in my house for the evening. So I went up there, because I didn’t know how to get out of it and actually somehow I did want not to be alone.

So I went up and yes, I felt like a total jerk. I just wanted to leave but couldn’t guess how, without turning the attention to me.

So I sat there for hours and the more nervous I got the more awkward I felt.

I just hope, I’ll never see them again, but that may be a bit complicated, because they live right above us.

Uh, heaven, just make me invisible! That’s if there is somebody capable to do this, if not I’ll have to live with this disgrace.

I went out

Well, I can’t complain all the time and I don’t intend to because it gets quite depressing, reading it after a while.

I was in the cinema. And I liked it. Well, I liked it, when I was in there an the lights went out, so nobody could see me but nevertheless it was fun and the way there and back was worth it.
It was worth it anyway, because I did it.

It might even be training, for phoning the statistic office on monday to get my stupid polling card, they screwed up to send me…

Missing my life

My flatmate went to our disco, well he went yesterday, but he is there now.

And I just could not go with him. I couldn’t. I nearly freaked out, because I was scared they would all look at me and I would make myself look stupid.
So I decided not to go. But I want it so badly. I want to go out and have fun and just be a normal 22 years old person.

Where did my life go? I just lost it 10 years ago, when I started this crap. Now and then I get a short glimpse and before I even catch on it’s gone.

Promise to myself: Next time I will go!