The last months have been a bit too much for me.
I’ve tried writing every once in a while but simply couldn’t. I think I wouldn’t have managed even with a brain that did not and does not suffer from malnutrition. But as it was I couldn’t count to three anyway let alone writing about the stuff going on inside me I still don’t understand.
Late in January I’ve been admitted to hospital. Friends of mine panicked, they thought I might drop dead any minute… Don’t know… I can’t comprehend this. Neither that it could have been this serious nor anyone caring if it was.
Nevertheless, they thought so, I accepted because there was no way out anyway and I guess I knew deep down they were right.
The doctors there thought along the same lines… There are great parts that felt so humiliating… Being driven around in a wheelchair… Feeding tube…
How could I let this happen?
I hate anorexia. I hate my mind.
At the moment I’m waiting for a place in another clinic that’ll hopefully help me to prevent something similar happening again.
WOW! I really hope that you get the help that A LOT of us struggling REALLY need. Just remember that the road will be LONG and you may relapse, but if you really want it FIGHT for it.
I’m STILL struggle with my ED even today never been in treatment and I’ve had it for 11 years. I’ve NEVER been diagnosed with it. So I know what your going through.
I’m looking forward to your next post….